I hate Twitter and everything it stands for. Until now.
Finally, finally, the cafeterias on Capitol Hill are tweeting. (Tweeting? Is that right?)
senatecafes posted its first tweet today: Chef’s Table in Dirksen today at 11:30! Herb Roast Cod w. Squid Ink Linguini, Broccolini & Asparagus. For today’s date…$9.99 per plate.
So many things were wrong with that first tweet, I don’t know where to begin. (Squid ink?! Broccolini?! Rhyming?!)
What I can’t wait for are the yogurt tweets. Forget health care. There are tougher choices to be made on the Hill. We know that Sen. Snowe is on Obama’s side for the whole health care thing, but more importantly, will she top her fro-yo off with M&Ms, or just be Plain Jane about it?
See, I interned for a senator this summer. I learned a lot, but I’m not going to beat around the bush: If prolonged trips to the cafeteria meant getting out of sorting letters and avoiding Anthrax in the mailroom, I was going to go get me some frozen yogurt.
These frozen yogurt trips became a staple during the long hours in the Hart building. I wasn’t alone. I found myself surrounded by a pool of other red intern badges and rainbow sprinkles that indicated I wasn’t the only one taking an extended “bathroom break.”
Best of all? No taxes! Because who would have the heart to make Barbara Boxer pay an extra 50 cents for her Blondie? These are struggling senators, people!
With taxes out of the way, the only thing I had to concern myself with was choosing a flavor. Cookies and cream and banana (no one liked banana) were shoe-ins for days at a time. It was like Christmas came early when strawberry, chocolate or vanilla were on the menu. What were these cafeterias thinking? Do they truly believe that Senator McCain and Senator Lincoln are going to spring for those crazy cookies and cream and banana flavors? It seems to me they’d want to play it safe and get a standard vanilla or chocolate fro-yo.
If only the cafeterias had been tweeting when I was at the Hill. I would have known not to bother taking the four floors down to the basement if I could only get that gross banana flavor. These tweets are going to make life so much easier for America’s youth interning on the Hill. Bravo, Twitter. And, oh yeah, didn’t Obama give a speech on health care tonight?